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Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts

Friday, December 18, 2015

We Finally Found Grandma: In Humor, Truth: Grandma's Christmas trip‏ (American citizens, humor, indefinite detention, music , NDAA, Remy, truth, TSA )

Lisbon,
 
This video is a little late. Sorry. 
 
We were busy trying to figure out where exactly Grandma went. She
called, said she was getting on the airplane, and that was the last
we heard from her.
 
Grandma's Christmas trip...
 
Grandma's Christmas trip  
 

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

GROWING UP IN PEJEPSCOT MAINE

Since I was raised catholic and have some Irish genes in my veins I thought I'd pass this along. I hope you will find the humor in this no matter your political or religious beliefs:


Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning.

It was a fine spring day in his new Washington D.C. parish.

He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside.

He then noticed there was . . . a donkey lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.

He promptly called the White House .

The conversation went like this:

"Good morning this is Barrack Obama, how might I help you?"



"And the best of the day te yerself, this is Father O'Malley at St. Ann's Catholic Church.

There's a donkey lying dead on me front lawn and would ye be so kind as to send a couple o'yer lads to take care of the matter?"

Barrack, considering himself to be quite a wit and recognizing the Irish accent, thought he would have a little fun with the good father, replied, "Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!"

There was dead silence on the line for a moment, then
Father O'Malley then replied...

"Aye, 'tis certainly true, but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin first, which is the reason for me call."

THIS IS ON POINT‏



Submitted by: 'Gordie'

Friday, July 10, 2015

BUILDING PERMIT... It's All In The Wording!



 (Conceptual photo only)

I applied for a building permit for a new house. 
It was going to be 100 ft tall and 400 ft wide, with 12 gun turrets at various heights, windows all over the place, and a loud outside entertainment sound system. It would have parking for 200 cars, and I was going to paint it green with pink trim. 

The City Council told me; “Forget it...AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN!” 

So, I sent in the application again, but this time I called it a "Mosque."
Work starts on Monday. And here is the best part,
it's going to be tax exempt! I love this country. It’s the government that scares me.

 http://www.thefirearmsforum.com/threads/building-permit.149603/

Saturday, June 6, 2015

Can You Get A Great Lobster Roll In Lisbon?

We would like to hear from our readers what they think.  Some are still waiting for the crustaceans to be pulled from the Androscoggin River, we wish them lots of patience.  Yeah Lisbon has Moxie but people coming to Maine to visit want a darn good lobster roll.  After all the state did put dead Lobsters on our license plates as an incentive to "tweak" the interest of those doing their vacation planning by looking at license plates.  Well, we present you with the following parody that does glorify our favorite sandwich.
Enjoy!
 

I Love Lobster Rolls [Parody]

Everyone in New England knows that lobster rolls are the best food you can make with a crustacean. This parody of "I Love Rock 'n' Roll" perfectly explains the love for these lobster-filled delights.







http://wdea.am/hilarious-i-love-lobster-rolls-parody-glorifies-our-favorite-sandwich/

Whoever was the first person to think of shoving lobster into a buttery roll is an absolute genius.
Newick’s Lobster House in Dover, NH knows how much we all love lobster rolls and let us come to their restaurant and share the news on this New England staple. Lobster rolls are eaten, the crustaceans got a lot of loving and plenty of shenanigans are had.
I love lobster rolls. You love lobster rolls. It stands to reason that we are all in love with this crustacean-filled sandwich. Watch this music video inspired by the popular rock anthem “I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll” to see why.
New Hampshire’s own viral star, The Hillbilly Weatherman, even made a cameo in the video to show his support for everything lobster.


Read More: Hilarious 'I Love Lobster Rolls' Parody Glorifies Our Favorite Sandwich | http://wdea.am/hilarious-i-love-lobster-rolls-parody-glorifies-our-favorite-sandwich/?trackback=tsmclip

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Immigration!


The Manitoba Herald:

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration.  The recent actions of the Tea Party and the fact Republicans won the Senate are prompting an exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and to agree with Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck.

Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night.  "I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Southern Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota .  "The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry.  He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left before I even got a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them.  He then installed loudspeakers that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still got through and Rush annoyed the cows so much that they wouldn't give any milk."

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, and drive them across the border where they are simply left to fend for themselves. "A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said.  "I found one carload without a single bottle of imported drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though." When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives.  Rumors have been circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR races.

In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border.  Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs.  After catching a half- dozen young vegans in powdered wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the '50s. "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become
very suspicious about their age," an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and are renting all the Michael Moore movies. 
 
"I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said.  "How many art-history majors does one country need?"

In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada , Vice President Biden met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals.  A source close to President Obama said, "We're going to have some Paul McCartney and Peter, Paul & Mary concerts.  And we might even put some endangered species on postage stamps.  The President is determined to reach out," he said.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

All Lisbon's Cops Should Be Tested Immediately!

Here's another trick of Doctor Dementia to test your skills...


Can you meet this challenge?


I've seen this with the letters out of order, but this is the first time I've seen it with numbers. Good example of a Brain Study: If you can read this OUT LOUD you have a strong mind. And better than that: Alzheimer's is a long long, way down the road before it ever gets anywhere near you.


7H15                    M3554G3


53RV35                    7O PR0V3


H0W                    0UR M1ND5 C4N


D0                    4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5!


1MPR3551V3                    7H1NG5!


1N                    7H3 B3G1NN1NG


17                    WA5 H4RD BU7


N0W,                    0N 7H15 LIN3


Y0UR                    M1ND 1S


R34D1NG 17


4U70M471C4LLY


W17H                    0U7 3V3N


7H1NK1NG                    4B0U7 17,


B3  PROUD! 0NLY


C3R741N                    P30PL3 C4N


R3AD                    7H15.


PL3453                    F0RW4RD 1F


U                     C4N R34D 7H15.


To my 'selected' strange-minded friends: If you can read the following paragraph, forward it on to your friends with 'yes' in the subject line. Only great minds can read this. This is weird, but interesting!


If you can raed this, you have a sgtrane mnid, too.


Can you raed this? Olny 55 people out of 100 can.


I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in what oerdr the ltteres in a word are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is that the frsit and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it whotuit a pboerlm. This is bcuseaethe huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If you can raed this forwrad it.


FORWARD ONLY IF YOU CAN READ IT.